So I have now been at university for exactly a week, and I’m pretty sure it has been the longest week of my entire life! It feels like I have been here forever!
I moved in on Saturday, and it was very hectic as I had to go round handing in forms, picking things up etc, like my university card and my freshers pass and T-shirt. I also met most of my new flat-mates, who all seemed very nice. At first it was exceedingly awkward meeting everyone however, as there was very little to talk about. You would expect that meeting new people would actually give you more to talk about, but (perhaps obviously to some of you) the only kind of talk you can really engage in is small talk, as you don’t know them well enough to have a personal conversation.
Anyway, so on Saturday evening we all went out as a flat to the first freshers party, which to be honest was a serious let-down. As only half the people had moved in on the Saturday, there were hardly any people in the club. However in hindsight this may have been a good thing, as we went to the bar instead to have drinks, and consequently got to know each other a bit better.
On Sunday the same awkwardness followed, with some boredom as throughout the day we had very little to do. Again in the evening we went out, and it was actually much better this time. There were far more people in the club, which gave it a much better atmosphere. This is also where my first real experience of doing something stupid during freshers started. I met a guy who actually lives in the flat above us, and so the people from our flat sort of joined with the people from their flat to dance. Anyway, for the sake of making the story easier to understand, I am going to name the guy Rob. I have given him a fake name in case anyone I know reads this. Anyway, Rob and I were both dancing with the people from our flats, and with it being so crowded and so many people coming and going, I was getting pushed around a fair bit (I am also pretty tiny, which doesn’t help matters) Anyway, I was drunk and he was drunk and we ended up dancing together with his hands on my waist. There was also this other guy who I really didn’t like. He was 26 years old (this I found out later) and very pushy. I genuinely don’t know his name. Anyway, he then kept yelling in my ear to kiss Rob (and more, but I won’t put some of the more vulgar things he said in writing). Now before you judge me, I was slightly drunk. Anyway, so by this point I really felt like I was being pressured into kissing Rob, especially when he started trying to tilt my head towards his. So you probably know what happened next. I kissed him. And it probably lasted all of 4 seconds before I pulled away again. I’m just not the kind of girl to do things like that. Anyway, I then ran away from him. (When I say run, I really mean I squeezed away from him using the crowd to make sure he couldn’t follow me easily) I’m not sure why I did that, I wasn’t feeling threatened by him or anything, and he did seem like a nice guy, but I didn’t want to be kissing a guy who’s surname I don’t know. I personally find it bizarre to have a physical intimacy without having any kind of emotional intimacy. So yeah, that was the first, and so far the last, stupid thing I have done during freshers. When I got home I kept thinking what a bad thing to have done it was, but in hindsight, although this story (at least to me) makes me sound awful, another part of me isn’t that bothered. It was, afterall, only a kiss.
Onto Monday. It was SO hard to wake up on Monday morning! We had an introductory lecture and then we had to meet our personal tutors etc. A full week of lectures then followed, which of course as you can imagine meant having the trouble of finding my way around all the different places. I was actually surprised that I managed to find everywhere alright, with only one exception where I got lost and couldn’t find the right place for a good 15 minutes. So the lectures so far have all been very interesting, and I have brought some books (which cost me a very upsetting figure to buy).
However although I am getting on well with my flat mates as we see each other every day and go out together, I am finding it very hard to make friends with the people on my course. Because we are usually in lectures with only very small seminar groups, I am struggling a lot to make friends, as I seem to meet different people everyday! The annoying thing is that other people don’t seem to be having this problem! But then some people have other people in their flats doing the same subject, so can just make friends with them and walk with them etc. There is one girl I already know who went to my school, but as I can’t walk with her or anything, as she is in different accommodation, which makes it very hard to meet up with her beforehand. I have also met a few other people, however they all seem to already be in a ‘group’ and so I feel somewhat of an outsider, despite it only being the second week! Anyway, that is the only thing which I would say is upsetting me. However when I try and look on the bright side, I realise that other people must be in the same boat as me, and if I loudly introduce myself to enough people, then hopefully these other people will realise I am a friendly person and sit next to me if they ever see me again. We will have to see how it goes! So the lack of seminars is annoying, however once a week we have research groups, which is a quarter of the people in the lectures, so I am hoping also if I make friends in there, then I might meet someone from the same accommodation as me, or someone feeling equally lonely at the moment, and they can become my lecture buddy! We will have to see! Every time I feel myself feeling sad or lonely, these are the words I try to repeat to myself, and try and convince myself it is indeed only the first week.
Anyway, I think I have updated you pretty fully on the first week, and I will do the same next week, and hopefully there will be a more cheerful update on the friends front. In the meantime if you want to leave any comments on how it would be easier for me to make friends in lectures, then any advice is gratefully received!